January. Not only the most depressing month of the year, when no one has any money and everyone is fat after Christmas, but also the month when the shops become full of love. It’s everywhere staring you in the face, love hearts, chocolates, red roses – Valentine’s Day. Another beautiful reminder that yes, you are still single. In fact you’ve actually almost lost count of how many years you have been single for because it’s been THAT long.
It’s not that there aren’t any men around, because according to my highly reliable source (Wikipedia) there are actually about 3.5 billion of the scallywags roaming this earth. It just seems to be that none of them are quite the ‘right’ one for me. And I’m not prepared to settle for just anyone.
For quite a long time being single did bother me, most of my friends are in relationships – and most of those have been long term, so I’ve often felt like the odd one out or that awkward third wheel. It is only recently following an around the world adventure, that I did completely solo, that I have realised being in a relationship is not the be all and end all.
For a start where did this ridiculous notion that we have to be in a relationship to be happy come from? There are pressures coming from endless directions, it’s like you can’t avoid the subject. Family – parents especially wanting grandchildren. Friends who try to set you up with people who either; you are completely not interested in, or they aren’t interested in you (plain fucking awkward in my books). Then there’s the media, magazine covers splashed with ‘how to’ articles, and Facebook with its suggested adverts for match.com and various other dating sites. It’s literally everywhere like a huge fat plague.
At this point I would like to mention that I’m not some complete freak who has never had any interaction with the male species because I have, probably more so than is necessary but you know that’s just how the cookie crumbles. And maybe it is because of these interactions that I have remained single mostly because the only men who seem to be interested in me for more than my lady parts are complete weirdos. Let me introduce you to them.
Exhibit one: the random Facebook message
So there I was happily sat on Facebook stalking away as you do, when I got a random friend request. This doesn’t tend to happen too often these days so I was intrigued and decided to message said male. Here is our conversation
Exhibit two: the charity man
You may be aware of the charity man if you have read previous entry’s on Hannah’s blog. However if not I shall give you a brief update. I met said charity man whilst shopping, he ended up giving me my number and I texted him. Here was his was his reply:
Who the fuck is Eden? Yes that’s right he didn’t even know which one of the many I was. No ego boosts here! Kudos to whoever voted I didn’t text – you my friend were correct.
I won’t bore you with anymore, quite frankly, embarrassing encounters I think you get the idea. But what have I learnt from this? I’ve learnt that my twenties are going to be my selfish years. I worked hard for my career, and I worked hard to go travelling, both of which I did by myself.
I’ve learnt that freedom is valuable and while I’m single I have nothing to hold me back, I can travel when and where I want, I can live where I want, I can stay out late and the only person I have to answer to is myself, plus I don’t have to share a bed with anyone – hello starfish! Most importantly I get to learn who I am, what’s important to me, and to love myself.
Basically I’m a strong independent woman and I don’t need no man, well not just yet anyway.
– Guest Blogger: QueenB
If you fancy joining the guest blogging movement – feel free to get in touch – and express your dating stories!