Despite the title I did not eat fish, however for some reason random quotes from Finding Nemo are stuck in my brain.
Every so often I blurt out – “I can speak whale” in the most civilised of conversations. But what is wrong about lightening the mood in one’s conversation and letting others know your advanced skills.
Of course much to my joy it was announced that “Finding Dory” would be released in 2014… it is a long time to wait but at least at the depressing age of 22 I have something to look forward to next year.
Finding Nemo is just one of those films that has some amazing quotes that you can just crack out at the most amusing quotes in random social situations; let me give you some examples:
1. You see someone swimming in the swimming pool they look a bit out of puff, tired and a bit drained.
What do you do?
You start singing “Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming, hoooo hahahahah I love to swimmmmmm!”
2. When someone asks for directions – why not do it Dory style?
The conversation would go like this:
Person: Excuse me do you know where the nearest shop is?
You: I saw a shop
Person: You did?
You: Yeah I went by it not too long ago. Follow.
[few seconds later, I would start zig-zagging on a street pathway in front of the person and continually glance back at them]
You: Would you quit it? What, the ocean isn’t big enough for you or something like that? You got a problem? Huh? Do ya, do ya, do ya? You wanna piece of me? Yeah, yeah! Ooh, I’m scared now! What?
Person: What? You said you saw a shop?
Me: A Shop?
Me: Hey, I’ve seen a shop. I went by it not too long ago. It was this way. It was this way…
Person: Wait a minute, you already told me which way the shop was.
Me: I did? Oh, no…
Of course after your little joke it would be nice if you could either show them where the shop is or if they are really attractive offer to buy them a coffee – who knows that might be how your relationship blossoms. But, before you know it you’re married with 6 children and you don’t have any fun anymore. Jokes aside – try it.
3. You’re in a shop there is only one tray of doughnuts left (you know those trays you can get for like two pounds in asda (other shops are available)) someone else is staring at the tray of doughnuts too…
Run, grab the tray of doughnuts and shout MINE MINE MINE MINE (whilst doing some kind of impression of a seagull)
4. Of course there are a range of angles you could take whilst shopping in a supermarket (I am using food examples because this is supposed to be a food blog)
When looking for fish in a supermarket – go up to the fish counter order your fish and then start muttering loudly:
“I am a nice person, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself. Fish are friends, not food.”
Politely retract your order and walk away still muttering.
Shout: “I’M HAVING FISH TONIGHT”
If you are with a friend – your friend should then say whilst dragging you away:
Friend: He really doesn’t mean it, you know! He never even knew his father!
You: Just a bite!
Friend: Now you hold it together, mate!
Friend 2 (if you have one): Remember, INSERT NAME HERE Fish are friends, not food!
5. When a friend asks you for directions – why not speak some whale? I think this would work especially well when tensions are high – you know when the Sat Nav has failed, you are late, you can’t remember how to read a map because that was GCSE Geography and that was sooo many years ago and you can’t get SIRI to tell you where to go because you don’t have any signal – yeah that kind of moment to lighten the mood….
Friend: Let’s ask someone for directions?
You: [about the person you want to speak ] Maybe he only speaks whale.
[slowly and deeply, imitating the whale]
You: Mooo… Weeee neeeed…
Friend: INSERT NAME HERE
You: …tooo fiiind theeeeeee iceeeeeeee rrrrrriiinnnnnnkkk.
Friend: What are you doing? Are you sure you speak whale?
You: Caaaan yoooou giive uuuus direeeeectioooons?
Friend: INSERT NAME HERE. Heaven knows what you’re saying! See, he’s moving away.
You: Cooome baaaaack.
Friend: He’s not coming back. You offended him.
You: Maybe a different dialect. Mmmmoooooowaaaaah…
Friend: INSERT NAME HERE! This is not whale. You’re speaking like, upset stomach.
You: Maybe I should try humpback.
Friend: No, don’t try humpback.
You: Woooooo! Woooooo!
Friend: Okay, now you really do sound sick.
You: Maybe louder. Rah! Rah!
Friend: Don’t do that!
You: Too much orca. Did it sound a little orca-ish to you?
Friend: It doesn’t sound orca. It sounds like nothing I’ve ever heard!
So there you go – how to live your life by Finding Nemo a fun way to pass the time, annoy your friends and of course annoy people you have never met.
Also to keep you happy: this is when Ellen DeGeneres found out that Finding Dory was going to be made: click here
This is when I found out Finding Dory was going to be made:
“If you are what you eat, then I only want to eat the good stuff.” – Remy (‘Ratatouille’ 2007)